How many of you have ever wondered who you truly are?
Welcome to Modern Life-Keeping, I’m your host, Lori Cristine. I want to take a moment to thank all the listeners who have been listening to this podcast. I am grateful for you. Please feel free to contact me with comments or questions or drop a comment below if you are listening to this on youtube. I welcome your helpful feedback. Thank you so much for tuning in each week to a new episode of Modern Life-Keeping!
This episode is about how to recognize your true self and why it matters.
Discovering your true self is no easy task in modern life. We are constantly surrounded with information, and the only one screening this information is you. Knowing who you truly are allows you to discern what information to embrace and what information to disregard.
A strong sense of self gives you the ability and the confidence to choose information that aligns with the best version of yourself. Do you know the differences between the true and best version of yourself compared with all the other versions? That’s just one reason to get to know yourself, all of your selves.
The past several episodes have been building blocks to getting to know who you truly are as a unique individual. What is your energy signature? Like a snowflake, there are no two exactly alike. How do you distinguish yourself from others? What qualities do you have that combine in such a way to be part of who you are? We all have various qualities within us. Potential exists within each of us to express ourselves as the best possible version of our true selves. When we do not take inspired action steps in the direction of our potential, we may as well be climbing a mountain without shoes. The chatter and clatter of which sounds a lot like chatter and clatter of the victim mentality of modern life living.
How do you show up for yourself? How do you show up for others? Do you struggle to show up at all? Tune in to these aspects of yourself and see what information is revealed to you. The information that resonates as expansive is your intuition, your inner wisdom. The information that seems limiting and doesn’t resonate is part of a version of you that is climbing a mountain. It facilitates your feelings of stuckness. You are stuck because you are not in a flow on the path to your true potential. You are going against the current, offering up resistance in the form of fear or other negative emotion. Understanding who you truly are makes it easier to identify what is showing up that is not in alignment with your true self.
My childhood best friend Lynne has always been one of the smartest people I know. While on a visit 10 years or so ago, the subject of emotional intelligence came up. Lynne was telling me how it was going to be coming up a lot more in the future, especially within the business world. She also shared with me a test that assesses the difference between how you see yourself and how others see you.
In one way it confused me. I thought we weren’t supposed to worry about what others thought of us. At the same time, I was curious. I took the test. My results showed a discrepancy in how I see myself and how others perceive me. For example, I see myself as shy, but others don’t. This makes sense to me and shouldn’t necessarily be such an issue. Shyness is a personal thing. It’s internal. It’s happening within me, but that doesn’t mean I show it. One of the masks I wore for years is that of not being shy. I was the president of an emergency response team, an Executive Director, a Youth Director and held multiple positions where shyness wouldn’t be expected. I was able to be these things because when I was in charge I understood what was expected of me. There was little room to interpret. This allowed me to be less overstimulated. Less anxious about knowing what to do.
I didn’t see it as an issue. Until I upset a good friend at the time. I said I would go to an after event for an event I attended on behalf of his son. Then I sat out in the parking lot with Keara and couldn’t bring myself to go in. So we went to The Cheesecake Factory instead. He was so mad at me on Monday morning. I tried to explain to him that I felt frozen and didn’t have the confidence to go inside. He didn’t believe me because he doesn’t perceive me that way.
As I get to know myself on a deeper level, I realize that the shyness is more to do with being highly sensitive, easily overstimulated and sometimes misunderstood than with being shy. These experiences were teaching me how to show up as my true self and to drop the habit of resisting my authenticity. Authenticity is a perfect fit for our energy signature and is an energy that is magnetizing.
I can see where I was not in alignment with my true potential. Instead of compensating and strategizing to overcome my social anxiety, I could have chosen to embrace it. By embracing it, I would have overcome the power it had over me. I would be embracing a part of myself. This would have been more in alignment with my potential and while my leadership roles went well, I can only imagine the things I would have accomplished when in alignment with my true self.
I saw shyness as something that needed to be overcome instead of something that just is. The very act of labeling it as “shy” is judgmental. I am highly sensitive and easily overstimulated. When I lean in to this I see that I can prepare myself ahead of time with an expansive mindset, can limit my time and can have firm emotional boundaries. All these tools help me to be my true self while being a part of modern living.
If I didn’t have the conflict with my friend, I may never have brought light to how I was not aligned with my potential. I was stuck trying to overcome something that I just needed to change my thinking around.
I tell you this because we are responsible for managing our energy. When it is out of alignment, it can result in conflict. We create a unique energy signature that thrives when balanced. An imbalance occurs when we think of ourselves one way, show up another way and both are out of alignment with who we are most meant to be.
Who we are most meant to be is only ever something we know ourselves. It never comes from outside of us. Information outside of us is just that. It is not wisdom until we consciously embrace it as such. We embrace when we consciously assess its value. Is it a hell yes or a hell no? Only you can decide.
We have the ability to manage our energy in such a way that it is aligned with our potential. When we are in alignment we are in the flow, there is no resistance. We become a magnet for other things that align with our potential.
Managing our energy means bringing awareness to how we are showing up. If each one of us has many versions of ourself how do we choose which one to show up as? The first step is going to be to be aware of how you are showing up for yourself as well as for others. Did you do your best? And know that your best is different depending on the day. Your best might be off the charts one day and look mediocre another, but if your intention was always expansive, then you did your best. This isn’t meant to be an opportunity to beat yourself up for not being your best self every single day. It is meant as a tool to measure where you are in the moment. Each one of us has days that are better than others. Sometimes it is just witnessing a terrible car accident, which happens daily here in Wilmington, North Carolina. There is so much traffic here! Or it might be something that happened that was beyond your control. Awareness of how you are managing your energy is a useful tool in staying grounded, thinking expansive thoughts and following your intuition, and on the path of your true self.
Your true self
- Has a willingness to examine your vulnerabilities.
- Knows what others think of them doesn’t matter.
- Pursues passions.
- Expresses opinions freely and without fear of judgment.
- Says what they mean and means what they say.
- Accepts others as they are.
- Believes in the possibilities.
- Flows in a path of least resistance.
- Expresses true thoughts and feelings without apology.
- Has no one to blame.
- Compares themself only to the best version of themself.
- Shows up for themself as their true self.
I refer to being in alignment with your true self as standing in your power, working with your energy, managing your magic. Whatever you choose to call it, call it. Become aware of how you are showing up not just for others, but for yourself. Then see where you are in or out of alignment with your true self and focus on closing that gap.
Thank you for listening to this week’s episode of Modern Life-Keeping with Lori Cristine, brought to you by Keara Kisses.
Being our true self is the greatest gift we can give to ourselves. It represents unconditional love for ourselves and peace in our heart. Being in alignment with your true self is a path to happiness. You are being invited to become aware of where you are on your path to happiness? Are you aligned with your true self?
Please feel free to comment or email me with comments. For my contact information and more information on my individual and group soul strategy sessions, support groups, retreats and services visit kearakisses.com.
Until we meet again, keep wondering.
These blogs are written from my personal perspective. I have over thirty years of experience investigating, counseling, assessing and understanding the nature of humans. I look forward to creating a connection with you and sharing reciprocal positive experiences, comments and feedback about your life experiences and opportunities for growth. Please feel free to comment below. Positive comments only please.