Have you become stuck in an area of your life? Do you lack clarity in your purpose? Are you wondering how to create the best version of yourself?
Welcome to “Modern Life-Keeping” where we discuss ways to thrive in today’s world. I’m your host, Lori Cristine.
I have overcome a difficult childhood, an abusive marriage, and the death of my child. All it took was for me to invest in myself more than I was investing in anyone or anything else.
The next series in this podcast will walk you through the steps I took to heal myself. It all begins with getting to know yourself. This requires self awareness and a lot of self love. The first episode of this series will discuss how and why each one of us is being invited to invest in ourselves.
Investing in Yourself
Investing in ourselves is a risk many of us avoid. We have beliefs around what it means to invest in ourselves and these beliefs keep us stuck, perpetuating more and more things to fear and to avoid. After a while the hamster wheel we are on becomes comfortable and we lose sight of our potential.
We have been programmed from a young age to forget our potential. How do we become programmed? Well meaning adults, not so well meaning adults, culture, extended family, friends, government, injustices, media, religion, school are just some of our sources of programming.
This programming keeps us stuck. To get unstuck we must increase our awareness of the thoughts we think and the beliefs they represent. Once we become aware, we can consciously choose to embrace more expansive thoughts and beliefs. It begins with a choice to invest in yourself. We won’t be stuck for long when we are investing in ourselves. In addition to becoming unstuck, investing in ourselves has other benefits including confidence, clarity, focus, freedom, increased awareness, knowledge and skills, as well as power and strength from understanding the unique parts of ourselves. All of that just for putting yourself first. The block forms when we put others before ourselves. This very action is the block. We are subconsciously blocking ourselves with other people. There are many reasons we put up this block, but we will discuss those in later episodes. Today we are bringing awareness to the power we have to put ourselves first. We are transmuting a limiting belief that teaches us to put others before us. There are times and places to be selfless. It is not in your best interest to continue being selfless at the expense of yourself.
So you may be wondering, what does it mean to invest in ourselves? Investing in ourselves means getting to know ourselves. Knowing ourselves more than we know anyone or anything else. Really understanding our strengths, challenges, life lessons, purpose, etc. It even means why we put the needs of others before our own.
When we invest in ourselves we become aware of our dreams, limits, potential, strengths and triggers allowing room for the power and strength we have within us to thrive.
Investing in ourselves means choosing our best interests, putting our needs above those of others and remaining true to ourselves. Do this with unconditional love for yourself AND with the intention of being the best version of yourself. If hurt people hurt people, then healed people heal people. Imagine a world where we focus on our own well-being, not at the expense of others but for the benefit of all.
I spent decades putting the needs of others before my own. I can assure you, it was as close to hell as I will ever be. I was expert at making excuses and justifying it to myself. If I had really known and understood myself, I would have been able to use this knowledge to transform hell into heaven a lot earlier in life.
Putting the needs of others before my own meant that even though I was physically present, my mind was elsewhere. I was not present in the moment. I was distracted, stuck and lacked clarity and focus. I might have been hungry, overwhelmed, tired or any number of other things. I was a very good parent in many ways, but had I been more present in the moment, I would have been an exceptional parent. I would have known how to process my emotions instead of hanging on to them and allowing them to invade my space. These emotions were my friends, but I avoided them like they were the enemy. I forgot how to communicate with them. I forgot that the answers were within me and not outside of me. I forgot that I am all I need. I forgot to fill my own cup before giving to others.
I see posts every day about how we are supposed to put our children first. Our culture perpetuates this. What are we teaching our children when we treat our children like the world revolves around them, their needs are the only ones that matter and that emotions are ok to ignore? We are failing at teaching our children how to self parent, because many of us don’t have these skills ourselves. I am surely not the only parent that wasn’t role modeled or taught to consciously parent myself.
We want our children to thrive, yet we sabotage them by creating unrealistic environments. How can our children be independent and self sufficient if we have not role modeled boundaries, self awareness, and unconditional self love? How many adults unconditionally love themselves? Are we demonstrating to our children how they can unconditionally love themselves?? I don’t think we are. I think this because of the large proportion of young adults who are experiencing problems with their mental health. Young adults have not been taught how to regulate their emotions, because many of their parents don’t know how to teach them this skill because they didn’t have it themselves.
You are in a much better position to be a loving adult and/or parent when you unconditionally love yourself first.
How do we invest in ourselves to become unstuck? We take the time to monitor our thoughts. We question our thoughts. We examine our beliefs. We make conscious decisions about which beliefs expand us versus limit us. We start to reprogram our mind so that it serves instead of sabotages us. Do the necessary housekeeping in our brain to keep our thoughts healthy. It is our responsibility to sort through our beliefs, the thoughts we think, and the experiences we have had. We must take the action of purging thoughts and patterns of thinking that no longer serve us. We can invest in ourselves by monitoring our thinking. Our thinking impacts our feelings and so by investing in our mind we also heal our emotions.
Invest in having functional, useful critical thinking skills that allow you to communicate, make decisions, manage or prevent conflict, organize, process information, problem solve and more! Now more than ever is a time where you can learn what you need to know about developing critical thinking skills, monitoring your thinking, and using your thinking in the most valuable way possible.
Investing in yourself means taking care of YOU so that you are in mint condition, performing to your potential. It means caring for your body on the inside and out, top to bottom. Invest in things that make you look and feel good. If you have money blocks, look for alternative ways to manifest what you desire. How you look and feel is part of your energy signature. Be aware of how you invest in this area of your life.
Taking care of your body includes being aware of the physical needs of your body. Get enough, not too much or too little exercise, rest, sleep or water. Investing in yourself means becoming aware of your body’s needs and making it a priority to meet them.
Be aware of what you feed your body. Invest in food that makes your body feel and look good. This does not have to cost extra money. Cook from scratch with love and expansive intentions and the quality of your food will improve. Your awareness has a lot of power. You can invest in yourself simply by improving your self awareness. Set the intention then take the inspired action steps towards using your self awareness to improve the quality of your life.
There is no right or wrong way to invest in yourself, but consider the following guidelines:
- Investing feels expansive, so do what makes you feel expansive versus limited.
- Invest in yourself in ways that feel right to you.
- How you invest in yourself is how you show up for yourself.
- Remember that what others think of you is none of your business, just like what others think or do is none of yours. Be aware of where you are focusing your energy.
- Tune into your body. What is it communicating to you? Does your head hurt? What is your head trying to tell you?
- Allow yourself to dream and to explore the what ifs that allow you to thrive.
Investments are for the long term. Even though you are increasing your awareness of the details that make up you, don’t lose sight of the big picture. Treat yourself with patience and unconditional love. Know that it’s not what happens to you as much as how you respond that matters. Our responses are within our control and are opportunities for us to practice being aware.
Thank you for listening to this week’s episode of Modern Life-Keeping with Lori Cristine, brought to you by Keara Kisses.
Invest in yourself by getting to know and understand your mind, body and soul. Become aware of where you are blocking yourself from your potential and learn to love yourself unconditionally.
For more information on my individual and parenting support groups, retreats and services visit kearakisses.com.
Thank you for listening. Until we meet again, keep wondering.