Read it.

Our personal power is like a wand when it comes to creating our best life.

Welcome to Modern Life-Keeping where we talk about ways to thrive in today’s world. I’m your host, Lori Cristine and today we will talk about 4 ways we can stand in our power.


When we learn to balance our personal power, we can reach our infinite potential.  Within each one of us lies the power to be our true self.  We are our true self when our mind, body and soul are aligned.  When our thoughts, actions and desires are in harmony, we are in the sweet spot of life. This is our personal power.

Like any sweet spot, learning to stand in our power is a process of finding balance in our mind, body and soul.  This balance allows us to be true to ourself in the most expansive way possible.   It allows us to express ourselves in the most authentic way possible.  

There are many ways in which we give away our power, some more obvious than others.  

One obvious way we give away our power is when we react instead of respond to emotional triggers.  When someone says or does something that triggers an emotion in you, do you react or respond?  A reaction is more of a learned response, often based in emotion.  Emotions that are triggered are our body’s way of communicating with us.  Are you listening to the messages your body is sending? Or are you reacting to them? It is up to you to listen and to direct those emotions in a meaningful way.  We react when we act on the emotion instead of processing the thought behind the emotion.  We respond when we self-regulate our emotions and thoughts in a way that expands us.  We might respond with kindness because we know what others think of us is none of our business.  We might react in anger because we are afraid people don’t like us.

Blaming, deflecting, ignoring, projecting, rejecting….these are all ways our mind denies our body its message.  The messages are the key to our healing and when we ignore them, we block communication with ourselves.  When we choose not to tune in to the message the emotion is communicating, we are reacting to the emotional trigger.  Reacting is defensive.  Defensiveness is resistance.  Resistance to the perspective of others.  Resistance to change.  Resistance to life. This is the opposite of embracing your power.  This is using your power against yourself.

Stand in your power by self regulating your emotions and thoughts.  Choose not to react when you are triggered.  

Another way we give our power away is when we do not take responsibility for ourself and our life.  Our world is made more difficult with blame, lack of accountability and feelings of entitlement.  People give their power away to others, their workplace, the government, the perception of others.  We live in a society so driven by material possessions that we stay stuck in dead end jobs, toxic work environments and self-sabotaging thinking patterns.    And instead of standing in the power we have to take responsibility for our own life, we blame everyone else for our problems.

We give our power away when we allow others or situations to drain us.  If you do not like your working conditions, leave.  TAKE YOUR POWER BACK.  I have never seen a situation end well where you had to fight for your rights at work.  A bad employer is a bad employer.  Why would you fight for your right to work in an environment that is not healthy?  Why do you think it is your responsibility to make a bad employer a good one?  What makes you think you have this kind of power in the first place???

I realize I may be triggering some of you now and that I am oversimplifying an often complicated and difficult situation, but I am looking at a broader perspective.  I understand that it is almost never that simple.    I am not telling you to quit your job.  I am inviting you to change your perspective about your relationship with your employer.  I am also NOT saying that unsafe conditions, sexual harassment or discrimination is acceptable.  Do you honestly think that if you are discriminated against at work that a lawsuit against your employer is going to change their thinking??????  Is a possible monetary outcome worth giving your power away?  How does money equate to integrity and self worth?  When does walking away better serve you?    When does fighting the fight serve a greater good?  These are decisions only you can make.  Every single situation is unique, it is your responsibility to live your life in a way that aligns with who you are most meant to be.

Questions to ask yourself when you are feeling triggered

  1. Do others have well meaning intentions? 
  2. Is there a common theme occurring in what triggers me?  
  3. Do conflicts and drama define my life?
  4. Am I blaming others or circumstances?
  5. Are there actions I should be taking, but don’t?
  6. Why is this upsetting me?
  7. Am I giving my power away to others?
  8. Do I have unhealed wounds that need my attention?

Stand in your power by making choices that are right for you and by taking responsibility for these choices.

Our communication with ourself and others offers the opportunity to align with our personal power.

You be the judge

Think about these two statements and assess which one feels better:

“My workplace sucks, but I am stuck here because it pays well.”

“My workplace sucks and although I am paid well, I deserve a less toxic work environment.”  

Which statement takes power away and which statements gives power back?  Which statement feels lighter?  Which statement feels heavy?  To me, the first one keeps me stuck and the second one says there’s more to a good job than being paid well.

You can train your brain to evaluate the statements you make aloud and to yourself.  You can train your brain to reach for better feeling thoughts.  Thoughts are energy and become our reality.  What do you want your reality to be?  Be the creator of your reality and make it a reality you love.

We all have the superpower to transform our thinking – if we CHOOSE to embrace it!  Your power comes from your ability to think thoughts that expand instead of limit you.

21st Century in particular is focused on mental health issues.  The underlying reality is that:

YOU and only YOU are responsible for your mental health

It is easy to blame mental health issues on others.  But who is really responsible for your mental health?????  Only you are.  Even doctors can only help us help ourselves.  We have to do the work, accept the guidance, exercise, etc.  We all have a responsibility to ourselves (and others) to address our mental health concerns.  This ALWAYS involves closing the gap between what we want to be true and what is true.  It ALWAYS involves creating thinking patterns that serve us, instead of sabotage us.   It absolutely involves taking full responsibility for yourself and your life.  And when you do, you will be aligned with your best life!

Embrace your authenticity

Perhaps if more people spoke their truth (what they are really thinking), there would be less blame and more accountability in this currently over entitled world.    Perhaps people would be more aware of the part they play, instead of expecting others to make their life better.  Perhaps people would reflect on their “truth” and find ways their thinking could improve.

People don’t always want to be accountable for their actions.  They often refuse to take responsibility for their circumstances.  They take the easy way out:  blaming others, circumstances, childhood experiences, biology, fate, etc.  Blame does not require courage, integrity or strength.  It is the easy fix to some of the hardest problems.  Blame does not build character, instead it defines it.    

I can’t possibly count how many times in my 54 years of life that I have been told what amounts to “you need to sugar coat what you say.”  These people are clearly uninformed about how toxic sugar is!  When I am speaking my truth and saying things as I see them, guess what?  I am being my true, authentic self.  And, in each and every instance I can honestly say that I could not have formulated a “better” way to speak my truth.  To do so, would have meant being unfaithful to myself.  I have, however, examined my intentions time and time again.  I can assure you I have never had bad intentions when speaking my truth.  I have never tried to intentionally hurt someone or to be mean.  I don’t feel that describes my heart at all.    What I do believe is:  our truth can be a hard pill to swallow, and not everyone is ready or able to hear or face it.  Your readiness is not for me to judge, nor is it for me to bear.

It is much easier to blame, deny and project than it is to reflect on our own motives and thinking.  Blaming, denying and projecting do not equal living our best life, or being true to ourselves.  We can not reach our full potential if we avoid facing reality and taking responsibility for our choices.

I have discovered my reality to be:

  • I can’t fix anyone.  
  • It is not my responsibility to save or protect anyone from themselves.
  • I don’t have to conform to others’ expectations of me.
  • I am perfect exactly as I am.
  • What others think of me is none of my business.

If there is an area of our life where we have conflict or that we are unhappy with, we have the power to transform it.  Transformation requires taking responsibility for our own life.  It is my intention that the words I speak help you to help yourself to take responsibility for your own life and to cultivate the success that is available for you.

The ability to see things clearly and having the courage to speak up has at times definitely made my life more difficult, forcing me to examine myself on a deeper level.  I have concluded that being able to see and say things as I see them instead of how I expect, hope or want them to be is a blessing and a superpower,  not the curse people want me to think it is.    Our superpowers are our ability to create magic in our life.  We all have superpowers, what are yours?  

Embrace the personal power you already have, but were programmed to forget.