I stayed sleeping for so long
Pretending nothing was wrong
Living without integrity
I hid my own identity
My true self was covered with a cloak
That served as my armor til I woke
It shielded me from all the knowing
But soon became too much to be towing
When I finally awoke and focused my light
It penetrated my cloak with all its great might
I watched as the light broke the illusion
Of the life that had been all delusion
As the cloak disappeared before my eyes
With a sound that sounded just like a sigh
I was immediately set free
To become the best version of me
Replacing fear with belief
Granted me the most relief
And living with this knowing
Means there’s nothing worth towing
My true self is finally bare
There is nothing it needs to wear
Its uniqueness a style all its own
My true self will now forever be shown
Are you hiding your true self from the world? Pretending you are someone you are not? Do you wonder why you feel helpless, hopeless and stuck?
While I snoozed through my life, cloaked in illusions of childhood programming, family and societal expectations and long held false beliefs of others, opportunities passed me by. Some were once in a lifetime, others came around again and again as if trying to wake me up. But, drowsy and impaired, I didn’t want to wake up. Living while impaired, I couldn’t see, hear or feel things clearly. I had no idea that there was a better version of myself, trying to reveal itself to me. I allowed the brain fog to continue as if I had no other choice as I wrapped myself tighter in my cloak.
This dulling of my senses meant I often reacted instead of responded. I became so focused on protecting myself from outside influences, that I lived hidden from my own truth. I lived life on the defense, out of sorts, and confused because nothing felt right. I lived in disharmony, sleeping on the inside, but reactive on the outside. My navigation system was awry. I wasn’t managing my mind or following my intuition. I definitely was not being my authentic self.
The cloak I wore muted my true colors, stifled my original thoughts and hid my real intentions. At times, I sweltered in its protection. My blood boiled, threatening to erupt out of me, and to stain the very fabric that was protecting me. Other times, I lay shivering, hidden in the heavy, dark fabric. But the secret of who this cloak was hiding me from was by far the biggest secret I had ever kept.
I had wrapped myself in this cloak of armor that masked and protected me from the harsh reality I anticipated and expected, as well as perceived. My cloak hid my vulnerabilities, helping me to fit in with what others expected, needed, and wanted of me. My cloak allowed me to fit in because so many others were donning a similar cloak.
Generally speaking, I did fit in. All at the expense of my heart and soul’s true desires. I was a warrior, but only in my own mind, playing defense and offense in a war against my true self who fought valiantly to be heard. The only winner was my shadow side that had managed to dim and overcome my light.
Going through the motions, blind to my potential seemed easier than putting myself out there, standing up for what I truly believed in and living my most authentic life. Being true to myself would have been too risky. It had already proven on multiple occasions to be threatening to those who preferred to sleep. Being someone everyone expected, was afterall, who I had been programmed to be. This programming started so early and was so pervasive throughout my life that it felt natural, like a second skin. I had donned my cloak like an extra layer of skin. It was a part of me. I barely left home without it. Just like many of you, it was all I thought I knew.
But it was all just an illusion. Maintaining a facade to “do as I was told,” “fit in,” “not rock the boat” “be less sensitive” and “lower my expectations” was anything but a path of least resistance. Trying to be someone I was not was slowly eating away my insides and proved to be a path of pure resistance. And, I was fooling no one, except maybe myself. What if I wasn’t meant to be like everyone else, or even anyone else? What if I was meant to be exactly who I am? What if I started questioning everything I thought I knew? What if I am already imperfectly perfect and perfectly imperfect, exactly as I should be?
If you have ever done resistance training you know how hard it is. My life felt like I was constantly walking uphill, barefoot, hungry and thirsty. And yes, in a snowstorm. This resistance was causing fatigue, lethargy, apathy, muscle aches, pains and various ailments. Instead of weight loss, it gave me weight gain as I added layer after layer of protection to the already heavy cloak I was wearing. Since most everyone else was also wearing a cloak, I hardly thought to question it. I say hardly, because I didn’t think much about it at all, I knew the cloak was stifling me, but my beliefs were limiting my ability to think I could remove it.
My lack of alignment with my highest self attracted circumstances, people and situations where I thought I needed the coat to protect me from judgment. This self fulfilling prophecy validated my toxic thinking and perpetuated a vicious cycle. This cycle was one of fight or flight that lasted several decades. My defenses were engaged and I was prepared to fight or flee the scene at any time. There was no room for the present moment. I couldn’t see past my attachment to how I thought things should or could be to see how they actually be.
The energy that the cloak represented was stifling me. It suddenly became obvious how heavy the cloak was and how little it actually protected me. Instead it made me vulnerable to the negative energy that darkness attracts. Even with the cloak, I still got chills. These chills were my soul fighting for the truth.
My cloak became so worn that seeing through it became inevitable. It became all but sheer. This cloak that had appeared as my protector, was weathered and worn with battle scars, and was clinging to my skin in all its vulnerability like its life depended on it. And, it’s life did depend on my choice to stay asleep.
As I started to wake up, hitting the snooze button less and less, my awareness of my free will increased. I was able to see more clearly and could see straight through my increasingly sheer cloak. This cloak was the biggest illusion of all. I thought it was my protector, but it had proven to be my worst enemy. I had unwittingly left my beliefs on the surface level of this cloak when they should have been at my soul level. I hadn’t done the hard work to get them from surface to soul. I hadn’t exercised my free will to question them. I hadn’t stood in my truth, I remained stuck in the shadow of my cloak. I believed that there were conditions to love, pressure to life, right and wrong, good and bad. I believed what others told me to believe. This resistance, disguised as protection, was one of my greatest teachers, but only when I allowed myself the choice to see it that way.
When I chose to turn my attention to what my body was screaming at me each time I hid behind my cloak, I realized: I am allergic to this cloak! Once I realized the cloak was not aligned with the best version of myself, I was able to respond to the signs my body was giving me that the threads were toxic.
I finally remembered that I am the creator of my own reality! I have free will and the power to choose the thoughts I think! I already have the answers within me, I just have to listen to myself more than I listen to or worry about others. I need to use my free will to think thoughts that are right for me. Like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I had the power within myself all along.
As I became more and more awake to my personal power, detachment from that cloak became my biggest priority.
I carefully examined my cloak. Even in its utter sheerness, I could clearly see fine, dark strands woven together, clinging to each other in their weakened and exposed state. Each strand had an energy of its own, all creating the fabric of the cloak. I started naming the strands and as I said their name out loud, the strand disintegrated in front of my eyes. I named:
And, just like that! The cloak was gone and the opportunity to create beliefs that serve my highest self became my most powerful intention.
Beliefs make up the core of our existence and are woven throughout every aspect of our life. We treat them superficially when we just accept what we are told without question. The minute I truly stopped caring what others thought of me, I was free. Free to be myself. Free to spend time with those that expand me, instead of contract me. Free to be me. I embraced our greatest superpower of all: FREE WILL and chose my thoughts instead of allowing them to choose me.
Wonderer’s are gasping in awe and uttering: How do we harness this power? I will offer an example of a strategy to harness your power.
First, identify the best version of yourself as the one in charge of your power.
Then set the intention to use your power for the highest good.
Next consciously choose to use your free will to choose thoughts and behaviors that serve you best.
And, finally, feel and express gratitude for each opportunity to express your free will.
Regularly reflect on where, when, how and with whom you have owned your power versus given it away. Use your free will to spend time with those that empower versus disempower you. It’s as simple as a choice. Choose you.
Your power lies in your ability to choose. It exists in your free will. We all have the same free will. Choose to wake up. Choose to close the gap between how you think things should be and how they really be. Choose to acknowledge and embrace the power you have within yourself to be yourself. Choose to peer into the depth of the inner wisdom that is deep within you. Choose to see and interpret the signs that surround you every day. Stop hitting the snooze button so you can return to dreamland. Just as you learned to sleepwalk through life, you can learn to live life awakened to your potential.
All over the world, individuals are waking up. Children are bright in ways we could have never imagined. Their perspective is unparalleled. Fresh and honest, their insights show us where we need to heal. Embrace life like a child would.
Choosing to heal is up to you. Choosing not to heal means repeating the same patterns that have been carried generation to generation. You have the power to break any generational curse that has left you feeling less than. Regardless of if you are the parent or the child, you have free will to live your life as you choose. How will you choose to live it?
Thank you for listening to this week’s episode of “21st Century Abilities” brought to you by Keara Kisses.
You have the ability to question your beliefs and thoughts and to choose the ones that make you feel expanded, instead of contracted. You have the power to make choices based in love instead of fear. Use your free will to choose beliefs and thoughts that make you feel lighter instead of heavier.
In Episode 2 of our series “21st Century Abilities” we will explore how our thinking can align us with our potential.
For more information on the services I offer, please visit kearakisses.com.
Thank you for listening each week. Until we meet again, keep wondering.
These blogs are written from my personal perspective. I have over thirty years of experience investigating, counseling, assessing and understanding the nature of humans. I look forward to creating a connection with you and sharing reciprocal positive experiences, comments and feedback about your life experiences and opportunities for growth. Please feel free to comment below. Positive comments only please.