Ever made a decision not to do something or not to say something, but not feel quite right about it? You tell yourself in your mind that it’s the right thing, yet you have this nagging feeling, maybe you have a sudden stomach ache, or headache. You just feel off.
As humans, we experience feelings. These feelings are indicators much like directionals or check engine lights in a car. Our feelings point us to information that may be hidden so deep within our unconscious mind that we need to dig a little deeper to reveal it. A gut instinct is more than a feeling, it is an indication that something needs further exploration. It is a signal that we may need to consider a different direction, or that there is a better way.
This is your GPS, an inner guidance system. Like the GPS of a car, our inner guidance system points us in the right direction. This system, unique to each of us, is channeled through our highest self. Our inner guidance system shows us the best ways to relate to the world around us, but only if and when we choose to follow it.
Your highest self communicates with you in various, and sometimes subtle ways. A nagging feeling or a body ache is just one way. If you ignore the messages, choosing instead to stay asleep, after a while you will become disconnected from your inner guidance system. When disconnected, it is very easy to become lost, stuck and blocked from inner peace and happiness.
On the other hand, when you follow your inner guidance system, you awaken and become potential in motion. When we are in alignment with our highest self our mind doesn’t hurt, our body doesn’t ache and our soul is whole and free.
Our inner guidance is soul wisdom, unconditional love, a managed mind and intuition all working together to help us to live a meaningful and peaceful life. Our inner guidance is designed to assist us in overcoming barriers to our destiny, as well as guiding us on the best path for our soul development.
Our GPS is always looking out for our best interests, even when our mind tells us otherwise. It is an invaluable tool in the 21st Century as we face an inundation of knowledge, choices and circumstances that test, among other things, our character as well as our ability to have inner peace.
There are many reasons we may become disconnected from our inner guidance system. One reason is because our culture values logic as well as evidence over gut feelings. It is easy for us to disregard our inner guidance system in the face of things like long held beliefs and peer pressure.
We may also become disconnected from our guidance system as a result of programming. Programming refers to how we are conditioned to think from a young age. Many of us have been unwittingly programmed not to listen to our own feelings and instincts.
It begins as early as allowing babies to “cry it out.” A baby’s cry is a signal, a way they have to communicate a need. When we fail to respond to it, we teach that child that their needs may not be met. Over time, they may learn that their needs are not important.
From a young age, we are told how to dress, how to behave, what to think, how to eat and so many other things. We are told practice makes perfect. Don’t be so sensitive. That’s not the way to do it. You are too young to know. It’s not that big of a deal. There is nothing to be scared about. Stop being so selfish.
Statements like these confuse children and take them further away from their own inner guidance system.
Children grow into adults who no longer remember they have a GPS that can point them in the right direction. They become adults who do not trust their inner guidance, instead following the guidance of others. They become adults who look outside of themselves for answers they have within themselves.
As parents we do not intentionally do this, we just don’t realize the implications. Every parent thinks what they are doing is in the best interest of their child in one way or another. They figure that they are parenting better than their parents did so everything will be alright. They think that when their children grow up they will suddenly understand it all.
I was one of those parents. I tried to minimize situations, distract attention from stressors and control outcomes. As my children got older, it was admittedly easier not to talk about things than it was to bring them up. I definitely swept some dirt under the rug so to speak. I didn’t make a habit of this, but I am not innocent of it either. It was a learning process to let my children be who they were most meant to be. I held the false belief that they were a reflection of me, as well as expectations of how children should be. My parenting mistakes were less about my actions and more about my beliefs. By now, we realize our actions are all about our beliefs.
I recently read an instagram post where a mom showed a picture in the car with the caption “when your kids see you lose your shit on your husband 50 times trying to get out of the house and then you tell them what a good time they are going to have on the outing.” Over a thousand people commented and laughed because they related to this post. Most minimized this behavior and stated everything would be ok, kids can work it out in therapy. Then they laughed some more. Many agreed they were better parents than their parents had been. Most agreed they had similar childhoods. Parents agreed the damage could be mitigated by setting up a therapy fund to go alongside the college fund. I find it interesting that their solution involved thoughts about money.
The relatable part of this particular post is that there is a belief that we need to toughen our children up – get them ready for the real world. This is another false belief. We use this belief as a way to excuse our behavior. We don’t realize we are doing this in the moment, but it is exactly what we are doing. We have not thought things through below the surface level. We have actually relied on beliefs we were taught as children. Our efforts to not be like our parents prove to be only surface level.
Teaching our children to believe in unconditional love, acceptance and peace might be more productive skills. Excusing toxic behavior, role modeling ineffective conflict resolution skills, pretending something is true that isn’t is likely not as good for our children as we tell ourselves it is. This type of programming is counterproductive to teaching children to follow their own inner guidance system.
I never want to take humor away from life. And, there was a part of me that thought this post was funny and relatable. I definitely had similar moments while parenting. But for me that was almost 20 years ago. Today I know better. If you have been listening all along you know that I know that kids don’t always live long enough for them to understand the ups and downs of parenting. They might not live to understand that you were parenting the only way you knew how. They might desensitize their feelings so that they don’t have to feel them. They might learn to shut down and develop toxic coping mechanisms of their own because they have become disconnected from their inner guidance system.
Do we really want to excuse our parenting mistakes because maybe we can explain them later? Or assume because we turned out ok, our children will too? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that knowing the amount of prescription medications, addictions, and violence in our culture I am not sure we can conclude that any of us are “ok.” And, if we are “ok” is that where we want to set the bar? Do we just want to be ok, getting through each day as if it is a life sentence instead of an opportunity to experience life?
Losing it on your husband in front of your children 50 times before leaving for what should be a fun event is not an indication that you turned out “ok”. It is an indication that you may not be aligned with your best self.
As a parent it is more important to understand the needs of your child than it is to parent or not parent them the way you were parented. Each child has a unique personality and individual needs.
Learning to tune into your inner guidance is by far the best way to change your thoughts and behaviors. It is also the best way to parent.
Of all the things we teach in school, it is amazing that following our own guidance system is not one of them. It is one of our most basic and useful skills, and so much more practical and appropriate for us than studying history or literature. If children were taught how to use their inner guidance system to make choices that served their highest good the world would be a different place.
Luckily, it’s never too late to learn. We can all learn to use our GPS like the compass it represents. Our emotions are the indicators and/or directionals of our compass. Are your emotions pointing towards the past or future? Are they uplifting or draining? These four indicators give us all the information we need. Where is your compass pointing? Is it where you want to go? When your compass is pointing where you want to go, you will have the potential for inner peace.
Set an intention to use your inner guidance system to point you in the direction that serves you best.
How you access your inner guidance system is completely up to your free will. There are no wrong or right ways to access it. Experiment with different ways to find the one that works best for you.
Teach yourself to tune in to what your inner guidance system is showing or telling you. Practice listening to it and Oh! The places you’ll go!
Thank you for listening to this week’s episode of “21st Century Abilities” brought to you by Keara Kisses.
Learn to tune into your inner guidance system and you will have all the answers you need to live a life filled with inner peace and happiness.
In Episode 4 of our series “21st Century Abilities” we will get to know who you be.
For more information on the services I offer, please visit kearakisses.com.
Thank you for listening each week. Until we meet again, keep wondering.
These blogs are written from my personal perspective. I have over thirty years of experience investigating, counseling, assessing and understanding the nature of humans. I look forward to creating a connection with you and sharing reciprocal positive experiences, comments and feedback about your life experiences and opportunities for growth. Please feel free to comment below. Positive comments only please.