One of the most powerful tools we have is self awareness. Self awareness is the ability to focus on how our behaviors, emotions and thoughts align with who we are most meant to be. Who we are most meant to be is manifested as our highest self or the best version of ourself. Our highest self has great wisdom and all the knowledge to live a happy and peaceful life.
Aligning with our highest self is not for the faint of heart. We are often blocked from our highest self by our very own beliefs and values. Consciously choosing to examine our beliefs, as well as our values is a tool we can use to help us to align with our highest self. We must examine our beliefs to determine if and where they align with the best version of ourself.
Many of us have programming from our childhood that is so ingrained in our lives that we don’t even know it exists. Beliefs are one of the things we are taught as children. Well meaning adults, parents and teachers, as well as the media influence our beliefs.
It is important to note that we are not our parents, our teachers, or our friends. Our childhood does not define who we are. Finding ourself in a sea of illusions and false, as well as limiting beliefs can take a lifetime of inquiry. The inquiry begins with learning to recognize the thoughts we think, the beliefs we embrace, and the values we live by.
The foundation on which we express ourselves is built upon our core beliefs and values. Together they make up the backbone of how we represent ourselves, providing a framework for our behavior, emotions and thoughts. When our beliefs and values don’t align with the best version of ourself, we will feel things like anger, anxiety, depression and fear. We may feel lost, stuck, and/or powerless. We definitely do not feel like ourselves. These are all signals from our highest self that we are out of alignment with our potential.
We learned lots of core beliefs as children. Limiting or false beliefs include some of the following examples:
No one will like me if I don’t conform
I have to work hard to be rich
The good guy finishes last
Rich people are greedy
Children shouldn’t die before their parents
If I try hard i will succeed
People should do the right thing
Hard work always pays off
People are not trustworthy
It doesn’t pay to be kind
If I am honest, I will be forgiven
Just the other day I heard parents discussing the last one about being honest. Parents were stating they loved this and were going to use it with their children. These well meaning parents didn’t see the implications. Their efforts to raise honest children are admirable, however I am left confused as an adult. Shouldn’t everyone be forgiven? And is honesty always forgiven? Is being forgiven based on conditions? The reality is that you are not always forgiven for being honest. Teaching a child otherwise does not serve their best interests.
These are just a handful of examples. Beliefs are based on our circumstances, culture and other outside influences that shape the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us. These beliefs become our core beliefs when we embrace them as our own, whether we do so consciously or unconsciously. As adults, we have the ability to question our core beliefs and to only choose those that serve our highest self.
Core beliefs shape how we think, the emotions we feel and the actions we take and often reveal themselves when there is a conflict between what we think and our reality. This is an opportunity for us to examine the underlying belief that is influencing our thoughts.
Ideally we would examine our beliefs before a conflict occurs, but often they are so deep within us that we don’t realize they are there until an emotion or conflict signals us.
If I go to the dog park and leave frustrated because no one is watching or picking up after their dog, I am the one with the uncomfortable feeling of frustration. No one else is responsible for this uncomfortable feeling, it is mine. I must first take responsibility and own my own feelings. These feelings are one way my highest self communicates to me when I am out of alignment with my potential.
When an emotion like frustration shows up for us we can ask the emotion what it is trying to show us. In this example it is revealing a limiting core belief that I have that people should do the right thing.
This belief does not align with reality for so many reasons. First, right and wrong thinking does not allow for middle ground. Second, interpretation of what is right and wrong is subjective. Third, not everyone always follows the rules. And fourth, I am not the judge of what other people are or are not doing.
This feeling of frustration serves as an opportunity for me to question and overcome a limiting belief that does not match up with my reality or serve my highest good. The uncomfortable emotion of frustration serves as an indicator that I am out of alignment with the best version of myself. The best version of myself does not think in black and white terms, knows perception is subjective, is aware that others do not always follow rules and does not judge others.
Anytime we have an uncomfortable feeling like anger, anxiety or fear, it is trying to tell us something. We can choose to dive deeper into the root of that feeling to examine if we have a core belief that is out of alignment with our reality. We can then choose to adjust that core belief so that it is in alignment with our best self.
Another part of the foundation of who we are is our core values. Our core values represent what is most important to us. Core values include things like authenticity, accountability, curiosity, fairness, integrity, nonconformity, optimism, selflessness, and wisdom. Core values are qualities that we embrace and allow to define us. As adults, we can choose to consciously embrace the core values that matter to us, not the ones that we were told to embrace by others.
Getting to know your highest self is imperative if you want to reach your infinite potential. Your highest self knows the path of happiness. Patterns repeat in your life because you have not learned the lesson they are teaching and because you are out of alignment with your potential. Everything that is happening is happening for you, not to you.
Getting to know ourselves is an individual journey. The answers are not outside of us, they are within us. Each of us has a version of our highest self that dwells within us. It is the loving voice that encourages us. The voice that nurtures us. It is the voice that has access to our inner wisdom. The voice that knows what is best for us. Tuning into this version of you is how you get to know who you truly are. Use that voice to examine your core beliefs and values so that you can choose beliefs and values that serve you. Your inner guidance system will show you the way.
Use the best version of yourself as your only standard of measurement. Choose to see when you align with the best version of yourself and where you can make adjustments to close the gap. Make it a habit to reflect on how you are showing up in the world. Are you showing up as your highest self? Don’t worry if you are not! Each moment provides a new opportunity for you to do better than the last moment. Remember you are not the judge of yourself or others!
Will you choose opportunities that allow you to expand your ability to live your best life and to be true to yourself? Or, will you choose opportunities to stay asleep, perhaps stuck, taking life for granted, letting life happen to you?
Get to know yourself, embrace the power you have within yourself. And remember that you become what you think. What you speak and how you behave reinforces those thoughts. Choose the beliefs and values that resonate with you. Afterall, that is what makes each of us each unique.
Thank you for listening to this week’s episode of “21st Century Abilities” brought to you by Keara Kisses.
You have the ability to question your beliefs and values and to choose the ones that make you feel expanded, instead of contracted. Allow your emotions to guide you to the beliefs and values that are right for you.
In our next series called “21st Century Culture” we will look at how our values are changing and the impact it has on our potential.
For more information on my individual and parenting support groups, retreats and services visit kearakisses.com.
Thank you for listening. Until we meet again, keep wondering.
These blogs are written from my personal perspective. I have over thirty years of experience investigating, counseling, assessing and understanding the nature of humans. I look forward to creating a connection with you and sharing reciprocal positive experiences, comments and feedback about your life experiences and opportunities for growth. Please feel free to comment below. Positive comments only please.